How Much is Too Much?

150 150 Carol Davis

I know I talk a lot – have been told that many times and I actually work really hard at talking less and not repeating myself,  etc. I just simply do not know what is too much.  People tell me I talk too much but no has ever told me what the appropriate amount would be.  

Is there a word count for too long?  Or, how many minutes before someone grabs the hook.

People let me know about my talking in a variety of ways but always to my face (or in writing).   Today,  a friend introduced me to someone and as part of the introduction she proclaimed,  “Carol talks too much.”   WOW!    That never happened.   It did not hurt my feelings because I know it is true but I think I was a little embarrassed.  That person who did not know me before today now has an unfavorable picture of me without being able to decide for herself.  Oh well.  

For the first 16 years of my life in my parents home,  I was not allowed to speak unless spoken to.   Even at the dinner table,  if I said “guess what I learned at school today?”  I would only get a stern look.  Children were not tolerated in my house.  When I left home at 16,  I did not have trouble speaking but I had great difficulty having a meaningful conversation.  Now I cannot shut up. (there is a lot in my head I never could say before  now).

But getting back to communication,  or lack of,  I  have heard my entire life about all the things I should not be doing but never what I should be doing instead. I know I am not the only one. – I think many of you have experienced the following:

What are you smiling about?

Why don’t you smile. (but then if I do smile)

You need to straighten up and fly right

Shape up or ship out

I don’t want you doing that anymore

When are you going to act your age?

You need to stop doing these things

When are you going to behave? 

You need to decide what you will do after you graduate

Just a sampling, but no one EVER gave me a clue about a replacement behavior.  I am guessing many of you have a list.  Feel free to add to this one.

In more recent years,  it has been:

You post too much on social media

You do not post enough

I need to unfollow you because your posts overwhelm my timeline

You talk too much

You don’t talk enough

WHO WROTE THE RULES???   ( I am not talking about laws but “rules”  of what you should like and not like – how you should behave on a holiday, how you should dress, etc)

Most of us came out of childhood with a list of “rules”  and we carry them with us  into the world and make them our guides for who we should be and who we try to get others to be.  

I invite you to join me in living from your heart.  When you are authentic and live from your heart, you will attract your tribe – and you will recognize them.

I challenge you to be authentic and heart centered.

@Carol Davis Actress, @Carol Davis, @changelesschange,#loveiskey,#livefromyourheart,#authenticity,#heartcentered,#whowrotetherules

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Carol Davis

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