Whenever I am feeling jealousy and/or envy (expressed, or not) I am simply not trusting Divine Wisdom and Direction and I am straying off the path of Divine Knowledge. I only need to remember even seemingly “bad” things happen to me good and the darkest hour is always – always – just before dawn. Staying in charge is letting go.
So I am so grateful I can look at negative feelings about myself or any one or anything as reminders that I get to learn something new about me.
I believe in not taking anything personally but when I do, I use it as a Divine Opportunity to learn something new about me. My reaction is always about me and my baggage.
I am not talking about analyzing everything that happens in my life – I am talking about when I get my feeling hurt or over-react to another person, place, or event. I like to say when I have a “charge” on someone, or something, I need to look within me because now – regardless if “they” are wrong, or not. my charge is about me.
Some say, well, Carol “anyone would be angry if this happened.” That may very well be true, but we will all express differently – each reaction based on our personal baggage (p. 47, “Changeless Change). We all pack our suitcases differently.
We may decide, “not my problem – they are wrong and a jerk, or whatever and I am moving on.” They probably are all of those things but I still need to see what my charge is about. Others observing the same words or behaviors may agree with you, but they are not reacting the same. It is also good to do it fairly soon after the event because we soon start to dismiss or diminish their behavior – “It wasn’t that bad.” We do that because it seems easier than getting out the paper and pen and writing. Or we do write it but it has been too long and we have already shoved the key points way down within us. Have some more ice cream and move on. At that point we are just putting another marble in the marble bag – also in my book, “Changeless Change” p.53.
We even dismiss and/or diminish words and behaviors that are repeatedly done unto us and I call that Spiritual Bypass and it happens when we are able to delay our self reflection until there is almost nothing left to reflect on. Problem is – the spiritual bypass has allowed us to see nothing “wrong” with ourselves or the other person. No worries – as in my case, it will come back over and over until we take action immediately while we are still angry.
The action I like to take is what I call a “no-send” letter. I give myself permission to take the other person’s inventory. I tell them everything I think is “wrong” with them – not just the current event – but everything that has ever bothered me about them. Then I tell them what they should do about and it and how they should show up for me. Of course, they do not see it. What happens instead is I look to see what in that letter I can see in me. If nothing, I move on but stay open to learning what my charge was about. It will come up again if there is something I need to learn.
For me, it is always about me becoming a better person – a better communicator – a kinder, gentler, more loving being.